TotenUniverse – Book 1
TotenSeries – Book 1

3rd-block-cover-wathWE ARE TOTEN HERZEN

Alien Noise Corporation (2013)

Available free in Kindle, EPUB, PDF; paid for in paperback

The first book of the Totenseries, and the opening salvo in the official account of Toten Herzen’s comeback. Murdered in 1977, discovered alive in 2013. The story of the band that refused to die and how one music journalist, Rob Wallet, orchestrated the greatest comeback in history of rock.

“Hard work didn’t kill him. Triple beer killed him. He drank like a bastard.”

She was holding it. A black Gibson Flying V. Susan rested the pointed ends of the body against Lundqvist’s chair, pinning him in place; the headstock nuzzled tightly against her stomach. Without blinking an eye she grabbed the arms of the chair, impaled herself on the neck of the instrument, pulling her body along it until she was face to face with the petrified producer. She gasped, inhaled a long deep satisfying breath and smiled revealing razor canines. Lundqvist started crying.

“It sounds so much better when I tune it this way.”


I know what you’re thinking; not another vampire novel. I don’t do vampire novels. Well, at the risk of being presumptive, you don’t do Twilight/Vampire Diaries novels. You don’t do middle class teenage girls stalked by old men disguised as the school frat boy novels.

We Are Toten Herzen isn’t like that. It’s not exactly classic Gothic noir either, but rehabilitates the vampire genre in a contemporary setting with nods to the European ancestry of the myth. The vampires of We Are Toten Herzen are human and monsters, clumsy and adept, violent and humane, and importantly, grown ups!

This novel is also the opening salvo of a much larger series that will take you on a journey where fact and fiction mix and mingle until you don’t know which is which. A series of nine novels will make up the TotenUniverse, with diversions into witchcraft, black magic, Satanism and quantum physics.

“It sounds so much better when I tune it this way.”

To get you started, We Are Toten Herzen is free to download at or you can nick the PDF from this web page. Then sit back and wallow in the discomfort of shambolic journo-publicist Rob Wallet, big mouthed short arse Dee Vincent, and towering over them all, literally and figuratively, the vampire queen (copyright Rob Wallet) Susan Bekker in all her paranoid egomania.

The TotenUniverse is the product of an army of non-existent creative types which means I have to do everything myself. By joining this over-ambitious attempt to create a new urban legend you’ll be stroking my ego with an intensity beyond measure.